Are we all self serving animals?

i found myself yelling at my husband today as he was leaving to walk the dog. As I realized most of my yelling landed on the closed front door rather than the intended recipient, I stopped to wonder what my actual problem was.
He had asked me to inspect something he saw on the floor which I did, but only after rolling my eyes and sighing loudly. His response was: well, I just hauled all the groceries in and now I’m walking the dog.
This response irritated me because I chose to believe he was trying to tell me he works harder than I do.
Whether or not this is true is not the point. The point is that I chose to believe that was what his thoughts were and I was offended.
I thought it was interesting that in one of my most relaxed moments, this was the behavior that came out.
I do not often yell at my husband in fact almost never. Like everyone else I have triggers because I am human and have memories, experiences, and the like.
I’m grateful that I have a safe place to be relaxed and when things like that happen, I explain to the hubs, we discuss, and it’s over. Just like that.

Different Management Styles?

This morning on the ride to work, I found myself thinking of Roseanne Barr and the recent cancellation of her T. V. Show.

I do not think it is okay to make personal attacks on anyone, especially if you’re a public figure. My question is this:  Samantha Bee made a very similar error right about the same time. Her show was not canceled. I believe it missed some episodes. Is the obvious difference in punishment due to the different network management styles or is it due to the fact that Roseanne is a Trump supporter and Samantha is not?

I will not comment on whether or not I am a Trump supporter, but will say there is an obvious double standard.

I’d love to hear your thoughts!  Share them in the comments!!

Sad World

I am very sad tonight. My husband noticed today a fledgling robin whose mommie was watching from afar as he hopped around and peeped.
Tom sent me a picture and I couldn’t wait to get home and see him for myself!
Before I arrived, the baby was run over by a car. This is nature and happens all day, every day, all across the world.
Still I am sad.

Menopause

It sucks. I thought I would be trendy and power through with no hormonal treatment.  That worked great when I didn’t have my period for a year. But now it’s time  to pay the piper and I’ve been bleeding for 5 weeks and positively flooding for the last 3 days. I’m a big weepy smelly messy mess. My head hurts, I’m nauseated, and I think I might be dying.

Bottom line—- I’m not trendy.

Are you a complainer?

We used to live in a town with a population of around 30,000.  It’s a college town and pretty nice for what it is.

When my husband retired a few years ago, he became acutely aware of the goings on of some of the neighborhood kids. He complained. As you can probably guess, the problem got worse.

Now we live in a town with a population of about 350. We love it!  But there are teens here too ( they’re everywhere!!), and every time the hubs says anything about it, I get very squirrely. I love it here more than any other place I’ve ever lived, and I don’t want there to be any trouble.

It’s attitudes like mine that get people taken advantage of and walked all over!  LOL

Where do you land on complaining?  Yes? Or no??

Snakeskin

My husband is retired, but has a decent start on a career as a fisherman. Today in his travels, he said he saw multiple snakeskins that had been shed. He’d never seen one before and neither have I. I kind of wish he had brought one home to show off.

Have you ever seen a snakeskin??

Lactose! What have you done?!

i am very lactose ‘tolerant ‘. I love dairy, can’t get enough cheese, put milk in my coffee, etc., etc., etc.

I keep ice cream in the house for obvious reasons—(it’s fantastic). As I was enjoying my Kroger deluxe peanut butter cup flavor the other day, I noticed a banner on the package that stated it was lactose free. I thought nothing of it.

Until

I had what I can only imagine is the same reaction lactose intolerant folks have.

Anybody want the rest of my lactose free peanut butter cup ice cream????

Epiphanies everywhere

Still smarting from yesterday’s insecure day, I asked a good friend to have lunch with me today so she could knock some sense into this ole melon of mine. And she did!  It is truly amazing what an outside perspective can do!

I’ve come to realize today that I’ve been wrong about something for longer than I want to admit.

Can people change?  Absolutely!  I am a much different person than I used to be.

That doesn’t always mean that they have changed. Food for thought. Your initial gut response is usually correct.

Aftershock?

Yesterday, I attended a conference in Madison, WI fir Business Analysts like myself. It was my first time going to such an event, and it was an exciting as exhausting day.
I am pretty proud of myself. I did well especially considering how this very scenario would historically make my anxiety go through the roof.
Turns out I spoke too soon. Today, was the most ‘insecure ‘ day I’ve had in a really long time.
Is that normal?  

Respect the semi truck

I have about a half hour drive to and from work each day. It’s all highway except for about the last 10 mins. On January 23rd, my family and I rear ended a stopped semi. I received a few minor injuries and now have a ‘bad’ shoulder. Understandably, I am now hyper aware of the space between the car I’m in and the car in front of me. I see other cars multiple times a day rear ending semis, cutting them off, and generally demonstrating that they do not understand that they can get hurt! Don’t be like my co commuters!!! Respect the semis!!!!

How busy am I?

I like to keep my work life extremely busy and my home life extremely opposite. That has worked out well for me for a while. But, as I begin to get more opportunities at work, there’s more and more late days leaving for home, studying for my class at home, don’t forget book club!, and all the other odds and ends that pop up. If you had asked me in the beginning if I had room for all these ‘add ons’, I would have said no. But as they are coming one at a time, with chances to reprioritize, I’m enjoying it. A nice surprise!

Have you ever vacuumed the stairs?

I've just vacuumed the stairs at our new place for the first time with the proper attachment in my upright vacuum.

It's a big pain in boo tay.

That is all.

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Thoughts

I was asked Friday morning how I felt about changing by my work assignment within my team. I jumped at the chance to do something a little different!  This is a wonderful opportunity for me and I’m thrilled to the gills!
I’m also a little nervous. There’s a meeting at 8am Monday morning to bring me up to speed. Wish me luck and success in my new venture!

Be Respectful!

I work at an insurance company. I am taking a certification class as a part of my job. The class has 2 sessions a week, and we are 4 weeks in to the 6 week curriculum. This past Tuesday was a review session. When the clock hit 2:59 for this class that ends at 3, every person in the room got up and walked out. We were mid discussion. In the middle of determining what was on the balance sheet vs the financial statement. They all just stopped and left.

I know I’ve been out of school a decade or two, but is this what we do now? I kind of wanted to hear the answer to the question.

Full Moon Nightmares!

Recently, there was a full moon.  This tends to happen every so often I've noticed, and I've also noticed that I tend to have nightmares the 3 days of the full moon. 

I've shared that I struggle with nightmares when I'm sick or stressed, but this is a new realization for me.  Besides being discombobulated when I wake up and concerned the entire day from the lingering upset of the dream, this causes me to wonder if there is another explanation besides my anxiety rearing its ugly head.

So I consulted my all knowing friend, Google, and here's what I found.  It's actually kind of interesting and worth the 5-10 minutes to read.

Does the Moon Influence Dreams?

Do you have dreams?  Nightmares?  Try an experiment and see if they're any different or more vivid at any certain time of the month.  You might be surprised.

Guilt by Association

My husband Tom and I enjoy watching True Crime type shows on T.V.  Like Forensic Files and such.  The last few weeks we've been watching a documentary about Edward Edwards, the man who some think may have been the Zodiac killer. 
There is one investigator that has been drawing some outlandish parallels and seems to be obsessed with Ed. 
He claims Ed did the child killings in Atlanta in the early 80's, the ones that Wayne Williams was arrested for.
His logic is that:  Since Ed was in Atlanta during that time, possessed a police officer's uniform (it was said the children were lured by someone they knew or someone in authority), and had a prejudice against blacks, that he killed these children. 
Also, since he owned a Santa suit and was in Colorado in 1996, he killed JonBenet Ramsey.
When it's presented in such a way, it is easy for us as viewers to see the jumps the investigator is making in accusing Ed of these crimes just because he is a killer and was known to be in the area at the time.
But I'm wondering--how often do I make similar jumps in the logic of my anxiety?  It is outlandish to think that because someone is annoyed and they are in your presence (among about 10 others) that they are annoyed because of your presence or even  your existence.  How often does my flawed thinking go to "that place".  I don't think I'm all that unique in these sorts of thoughts either.
Something to ponder.

Do the old favorites ever change?

In a "past life", I was very active in my church.  Almost to the point of zealousness.  I no longer attend church and on some days am not even sure I'm still Christian. 

I don't generally spend a super ton of time thinking of this, but today at work, my director said "Onward, Christian Soldiers"!, no rest for the wicked.  This was one of my absolute favorite hymns since childhood.  Oh, how I loved it when the rare instance came that we stood up to sing it!

I discovered today, that I still love this song!  And can still sing all the verses! 

Interesting. 

Here's a link for your listening pleasure. 
Onward, Christian Soldiers!

Bathroom Elimination

In our family I clean the bathroom.  I typically do this on Sundays to get ready for the week.  The last 2 weeks, our bathroom has been particularly icky.  I've decided I'm going to do an elimination "diet" for bathroom use to determine who the offending part is.  There's only 3 of us, so it shouldn't be too hard.  Oh wait--we only have one bathroom.  Hmmmm

Something to Keep in Mind

Sometimes in our dealings with those around us, we can take teasing or good natured ribbing a little farther than we probably should. Always remember, everyone has a past and you almost never know a person as well as you think you do. Every action has a consequence. I’ve been on both sides of this argument and it is the truth.

Do you ever get cranky?

Do you ever get cranky?  I am today. BIG TIME. And for no reason too. I had a fantastic day at work., the weather is nice and sunny, I’m not pms’ing, so what’s the scoop?

Kind of annoying.

The same, but different

Today I listened to a podcast. The first episode in a series of 4, it is called ‘Understanding the Chakras, The Spectrum of Consciousness.

It was so thought provoking. I had previously considered the concept of the chakras to be more aligned with Buddhist beliefs than Christian. The speaker explained at least the crown chakra as if it were part of her Christian beliefs.

It reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend who is a devout Muslim. I was surprised to learn that her beliefs are extremely similar to what mine were at the time. Exasperated, her response was— everyone believes the same thing, they just express it differently.

Definite food for thought to this thinker who is questioning everything at the moment and has no idea what she believes!

Hot flashes

Why does menopause give you hot flashes?  Why not cold flashes?  Or bouts of extreme comfort?  It gets a little tiring always being the sweaty one.

What was the first ever insurance policy?

What was insured?  Who thought up the idea of hey!  You just bought a vehicle. If you give me your money now, I’ll give it back to you with interest if the vehicle gets smashed. But if it doesn’t, you don’t get your money back.

Seems like a risky idea, but it sure did catch on’

Something I don’t like about myself

When i was a young girl, I had a way I thought my life would unfold. I took all of the advised steps, did my best, and things still did not turn out the way I wanted or was ‘promised’.

This isn’t a problem for me because I have been molded into who I am by my experiences. I love my life now, and am grateful for all I have.

But sometimes, when I see someone who took the same steps I did and received the desired result, I am angry, jealous, or whatever that emotion is.

I don’t like this about myself, but have come to accept it with my other flaws as a part of the package.

Are you a Wal Mart hater or a Wal Mart lover?

i’ve noticed most people are very attached to their grocery store. I am as well. Once I get in a groove, it’s very hard to get me to change.
Enter Wal Mart. I did our shopping there for a long time. Until they were continously out of items I regularly buy, causing me to then have to go to 2 stores. Until, their produce section became a choose the least rotten option.
Now I go there for prescriptions and nothing else. And even then, I try to get the hubs to pick it up for me.
Which one are you?  A lover or a hater?

I love my new home.

Today as I sat drinking my morning coffee and watching the birds at the feeders on our deck, I was pondering how much I love our new home. It’s bright, airy, and quiet. I am very content. I’m not sure I’ve ever been this at peace in my adult life. 

Can you help coworkers who don’t want help?

Today, 2 of my coworkers had a disagreement. It was quite contentious and made me uncomfortable to witness.
Once things quieted down a little, I began to review some leadership material and start writing down thoughts about the topic in an effort to prep for some future conversation I was going to initiate.
That’s when I remembered a talk I had with my current manager in regards to this same issue.
While I believe it is up to us as teammates to hold each other accountable for flawed decisions or work ethic, there will still be no progress made if all team members are not ‘on board’ With the effort.
I’ve seen this proven on my team many times.
What is your experience?

Is it really feminism’s fault?

i listened to an Astrology podcast while I was at work today.
The speaker suggested that the violent crime that plagues our society is st least in part due to the rise of feminism.
His argument somewhat made sense.
Men have an inherent need to be protective and women have an inherent need to nurture.
With the rise of feminism, women no longer depend on men to protect them, care for them, etc.  therefore, this need to fight off all the ickies who would hurt his family goes unmet- this- violent crime.
I say it’s a bit of a stretch, since my opinion is that those who commit violent crime do so because of a mental imbalance, which has little if anything to do with their environment. What do you think?

Do you ever catch yourself?

Today, I caught myself being dramatic. This is something I’ve definitely been working by in.

We had a ginormous snow storm yesterday, so I asked my husband to drive me to work today. This was a stress test and a half!  Why does no one else get as stressed about the slick roads as I do?  Why do I think it’s such a big deal?

No more drama llama!  Simmer down sister!!