I love being home

This last week, Tom (my husband), Toby (our dog), and I took a road trip to Hernando, MS to visit my parents.
I usually take this trip alone, but since Tom is retired now, he came along.
It was a really good visit and I absolutely loved having my two favorite fellas with me!
We cleaned out two garages, washed windows, cleaned off the patio, and generally prepped the homestead for winter.
My relationship with my parents is strained to my mind, and these trips are usually emotionally exhausting and traumatic.  While this visit was no different; I handled it much better than usual because I had the hubs with me for moral support.
I told him I'm never going without him again.  And I meant it!
The funny thing is that each time I go there, I can see myself living there.  Until I get home.  I also have a renewed sense of belonging and ambition when I arrive home.
It's the first time to get back in my bed.  The first walk in the door to familiar sounds and smells that are so familiar.  The first drive down the neighborhood streets.
Just like Dorothy says:  There's no place like home!

I've gotten old enough to remember

Last night I watched the movie "Argo".  It was interesting.  I was about 11 years old when the hostage crisis was going on. 
I remember seeing the footage from Tehran on the TV and asking my dad about it. 
I remember him trying to explain to me why terrorists would take hostages or burn the American Flag, or blindfold their prisoners, etc.
This was a turning point in my life as I recall.
It's when I stopped watching the news every night with my dad.
It's when I first realized there was an entire world other than America and that other countries were extremely different.
It's when I became fascinated with soldier"y", spy"y", secret mission"y" type books and movies.
Earlier today when I was having my weekly phone call with my mom, I mentioned that I had watched the movie.
For some reason, I was expecting it to be as momentous an occasion in her life as it was mine.  Not so.
I guess when you live through Vietnam, Korea, JFK, so on, so on, so on, the hostage crisis was just another drop in the bucket of uckiness that happens in the world.
Interesting the way memories work.  Interesting the triggers our brains make to take us back in time to feel as though we're right there in the midst of it again.

Knowing myself

I like to think I know myself pretty well.  I think I'm very self aware.  The only problem with that is that I've thought that for several years.  Many years even.  But I'm constantly becoming more self aware.  So what does that mean?

It basically means I overanalyze. 

It also means that I have a habit of self correction and modification.  I very much like that about myself.  I like seeing something I don't like about my personality or mannerisms and setting about to change it.  I like knowing that I am a completely different person now than I was even 1 short year ago.  That is how fast personal growth can occur if you are genuinely interested in it and objectively look at yourself. 

It's also imperative that you understand the people around you.  The reason this is imperative is that you need to know who's opinions to take to heart and who's opinions to throw in the garbage.  Lots of them belong in the garbage, but there are always those select few.

Is this process also self torture?  YES!  Do I sometimes hate this aspect of myself more than I love it?  YES! YES! YES!  That's the beauty of it.

Who can turn the random person from cool as a cucumber to homicidal maniac in 5 seconds flat?  Usually, it's either your mother or your spouse.  Conversely, when you are in pain or heartbroken, who's name do you call?  Usually, it's either your mother or your spouse. 

So interesting how our emotions work.